


No Use Running When Your Heart Ain't In It

by wrigglesworth59



Series: Know thy Enemy [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Last in this series, M/M, Magic Revealed, POV Alternating, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2474795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrigglesworth59/pseuds/wrigglesworth59
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Haha, only just realised this didn't have a summary... so...)<br/>The course of love never did run smoothly, especially when you're a secret warlock and your lover is a man who wants nothing more than to kill all your kind... or does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Running

**Author's Note:**

> Alternating POV, sorry to anyone who finds this annoying but is necessary to get the story complete.  
> Also this is it... the last in the series so thanks for reading and hope you enjoy :)  
> Also, also, was going to do it as a one-shot but sadly it has become an epic beast so have had to split it into chapters ... I'm really sorry *puppy dog eyes*  
> Hope you enjoy

 

**No Use Running When Your Heart Ain't In It**

_1- Running_  

**T** he wind dies down and he doesn't even bother to glance at their current surroundings instead he just lays his mother down gently and starts checking her over, it is times like these that he is eternally grateful for Gaius' teachings. Under the general dirt from days locked in a dungeon he can see dried blood caked in her hair and there is a bruise along her jaw, he clenches his own and finally looks up to take in the surroundings, he needs to find water and herbs.

His mother's hand running down his arm to gently clasp his hand stops him before he's taken in more than some trees and he looks into her blue eyes that are a mirror of his own to see the smile that is shining in them.

"Merlin," She smiles bright and beautiful, and he cannot help but be awed by this amazing woman, "I'm so proud of you." She strokes his cheek gently with her work worn hands and he ducks his head low to hide the tears that threaten to fall.

How does she always know what he is thinking? He wasn't really worried about her being disappointed, although he really was, it's just that he has betrayed his own secret to Camelot's greatest enemies and know neither of them will ever be able to go home again. In condemning himself he has also condemned her and she never even got a choice in the matter. Hell if it wasn't for him she would never have been taken by Cenred and Morgause in the first place.

A traitorous tear slides down his face and his mother's thumb gently strokes it away, using her other hand to bring his face up until his eyes meet hers. "I'm so proud of you Merlin." He holds her steady gaze, nothing but love and affection and a fierce pride that threatens to take his breath away with it's intensity and wonders what he did to be so blessed as to have this woman for a mother.

He offers her his own small smile, a brittle fragile thing that threatens to crumble but sincere all the same, and gently clasps her hands in his. His eye is caught by the blood in her hairline and he reaches up gentle fingers to run through the matted hair there, feeling around for the wound hidden beneath her thick dark curls. He hisses a little as his fingers sweep over a long shallow cut, and tries to hold back the anger which is mixing with the happiness of finding that it isn't more serious.

"I need to find water... and herbs, will you be alright?" He knows that the magical shield he has placed around them will prevent them from being found but he can't help but worry about leaving her alone for any length of time when he does not know the extent of her injuries, it can't be helped though he can't help her without first collecting some much needed supplies.

"Of course, you go on." She shifts herself so she is sitting up more on her own as he rises to his feet his arms falling back to his sides. 

He calls up his magic, using it to see as far as he can in all directions until he finds a source of water, to their north their is a large body of water, a lake he thinks. He turns in that direction and looking back over his shoulder he can't help but smile a little at the sight of his mother pushing to her feet before starting to gather wood. Shaking his head still smiling at how resilient a woman she is, she's never been one to let others keep her down.

On reaching the lake his breath catches in his throat as he is hit with all the force of a mace upon recognising where he is and he barely catches himself as his knees give out and he almost stumbles to the ground... Avalon. They're still in Camelot, barely a days ride from the castle, why did he bring them to Camelot? They cannot be here, can't afford to be found. He doesn't want to examine the reasons why they ended up back in Camelot, the pain in his chest already refusing to let him forget, he lets his eyes drift over the lake and is only thankful that at least he doesn't have the lifeless body of someone he loves this time although he supposes in a way he is still saying goodbye.

Using his magic he fashions a couple of crude cups from the bark of a tree and catches a couple of rabbits before gathering up as much comfrey and yarrow he can find and making his way back to his mother, he has been gone a good couple of hours and is eager to return and check on her.

Hunith is sitting beside a small roaring fire and looks much as she had earlier, he lets a smile form as he makes his way over to her handing over one of the cups of water. Merlin sets the other cup carefully on the ground making sure not to spill it and places the rabbits to one side, pulling the herbs from his pocket he adds them to the water preparing a hasty pain reducing tincture.

Once he has seen to his mothers wounds, luckily nothing major just bruising apart from the cut on her head and the sores round her wrists from the rope, he tries not to let his emotions show on his face, the anger that he feels knowing that his mother has been hurt because of him and the bubbling happiness that those same people have caused no serious harm, he sets the rabbits to roast on a spit over the fire.

Looking his mother over he knows he needs to do something about her dress, it's filthy from her stay in the dungeons and they don't want to draw attention to themselves whilst travelling. Lifting a hand towards his mother he feels the magic tingling and whispers the spell he uses to do the prince's laundry, "Fordwin wamm." His mother looks down at her once ruined dress and smiles happily, not only is it clean but it is also no longer patched and frayed it's as good as new, and he smiles happily too.

The sun has started to sink when he tells his mother to get some rest, they will need to leave at first light as it's too dangerous for them to stay in Camelot- there's no way Uther will let him go with or without knowing of his magic yet- when he hears voices a short way off. His shield is still in place though and it only sounds like a few men on horseback so he doesn't think it's anything he needs to be concerned about, still he stays tensed ready to defend or attack until the voices start to fade into the distance once more and he releases the tension.

The release of tension and his mothers soft snores seem to be all it takes for his sorrow to finally overwhelm him, the pain in his chest suddenly unbearable as sobs overtake his body. He curls into a tight ball muffling his cries with a sleeve as his imagination works against him to provide images of his lover lips curled in distaste as he sentences Merlin to burn or else images of Uther bloody from battle his sightless eyes accusing even in death making him sob harder, his hands curling up over his head to bury and pull at his hair wishing for sleep to take him.

 

_That same morning- Camelot_

**U** ther awoke already knowing that he was alone in the bed and he told himself not to panic, that it didn't mean anything, chances were Merlin had merely gone to fetch them some breakfast or something, but even as he tried to convince himself he knew it was a lie. Merlin had no doubt snuck off in the night on a hopeless one man mission to rescue his mother and now he would have to go and rescue the man he loved. There was no way he could leave Merlin alone, he could already feel tears forming behind his closed eyelids, refusing to let them fall. He knew this was not the same as Ygraine but still he knew he would not be able to take it if he had to lose the one he loved again.

He opened his eyes looking around the room just to ensure that Merlin wasn't there and heaved a great sigh filled with sorrow. He pulled himself from the bed, lying here worrying would help no-one and he had no idea how much of a head start his young lover had and walked behind his changing screen to start getting ready for the day, trying not to think about how it was usually Merlin's slim fingers pulling his tunic on and making him presentable for the day. There was an odd irony when the first day he actually needs help dressing (due to the cumbersome chainmail and plates of his armour) Merlin is not there to help him dress and instead he is forced to call for a servant to attend him.

Once he is dressed he sends that servant to bring Arthur to him before gathering a few of his most loyal knights. Arthur deserves to be told first in privacy not when the other knights here of it, Uther knows that no matter what the two men say they care about each other a great deal and he knows Arthur will be just as upset to learn of Merlin's disappearance.

He paces the room impatiently whilst waiting for Arthur to arrive, every once in a while looking to the window to gauge the progress of the sun, it feels like he has been waiting for an eternity even though he can tell that it has not yet been even a half hour, still he's anxious to get going, every minute that they're wasting is a minute that Merlin gets further away from them.

Finally he hears a light tap on his door and it's opening before he can call out so it can only be Arthur, he spins round to look at his son and barely contains his relieved sigh at the sight of him.

"Fath-"

"Merlin's gone."

"What? When, I don't understand."

"He was already gone when I woke up, Arthur, we need to go and bring him back, we cannot allow him to reach Cenred."

"Of course, so who's going?"

"Not too many we don't want to draw attention to ourselves if we have to cross the border, I need you to remain here Arthur and act as regent until I return." He cut's Arthur off before he can even start to protest, he understands that he wants to help find Merlin but somebody needs to be here to ensure the kingdom's safety. "Arthur, please, don't argue I don't have the time for it."

Arthur doesn't respond merely bows his head in acquiescence and follows dutifully behind him as he made his way to the small council chamber for the meeting with his knights.

He trusts that Arthur won't have any problems while he is away, but who can say what exactly Cenred is planning it could be that he wanted Uther away from Camelot before launching an attack, he really doesn't know but he knows that even if there was an attack on Camelot Arthur is more than capable of taking care of it. He has proved himself in battle many times, even if he knew for a fact there was to be an attack he wouldn't let it deter him, he cannot afford to lose Merlin, he thinks if he were to lose him it would be impossible to recover.

Entering the council chamber he puts on his 'king' mask already feeling how brittle and forced it is but it won't do any good to have his knights made aware of just how upset and worried he is. In the end he doesn't even bother with a briefing just curtly tells his men to have the horses made ready and sends a servant to ready some supplies, he's anxious to leave not knowing how much of a head start Merlin has, as it is they are mounted and thundering through the gates within an hour and a half of him waking up in an empty bed.

 

_Camelot- Morgana_

**T** he shattering glass raining down around her did little in the way of making her feel any better. She had to get out of Camelot, now, and find out where her sister was and why she was not answering her call. She tried not to let the anger and anxiety eat at her, Morgause was a Priestess... a powerful sorceress there was no reason for her to worry so much.

Still, she had had an unrestful night waking often to scream sweating in her twisted sheets, this on top of the fact that her sister was now not answering her had her deeply concerned, so she needed to go. She would sneak out and take her horse, she wished Morgause had taught her that transporting spell now as even with a horse it would take a couple of days hard riding to reach Cenred's castle.

She hated this not knowing, her magic was twisting and coiling unhappily, she felt like something truly terrible had happened or was going to. Uther could wait, vengeance against those whom she hated so much could wait, the only thing that mattered right now was her sister.

Sneaking out to the stables was incredibly easy, though she was stopped at the gates but being the king's 'ward' did have some advantages one of which being the ability to get away with things all it had taken was a stern glare and a pointed _'I am the king's ward'_ and the guards had happily stepped aside and allowed her to leave.

She rode hard, barely stopping for lunch and to water the horse before heading off again when she caught the drift of voices ahead on the wind, she slowed her horse and strained her ears to listen.

Confusion washed over her as she recognised the voice of her father calling the men to a halt. What on earth was Uther doing out here? She thought it was vaguely possible that he was heading to the same place as her, but Uther was no fool and would never make an attempt on Cenred's castle with just a few knights, so again what exactly was he doing out here?

She needed to get ahead of them without their noticing, that way she could at least warn Morgause that Uther was heading for the border. She had witnessed herself how pathetically in love with Merlin her father seemed to be, it was sickening and if she didn't know better she would think it an enchantment, maybe Merlin was already a 'guest' of Cenred's and that was why Uther was heading to Aescetir with so few men.

If he had hoped to go undetected then he was sadly deluded, she laughed softly to herself veering away from the forest path to make her way through the tree's going far enough to avoid detection and breaking the horse into a full out gallop to get as much of a head start on her father as she could. Perhaps if all went well with her sister they could come back and finish Uther off before anyone even worried he was missing... this could just be the perfect situation, a gift from the gods themselves.

 

_The woods not far from Avalon_

**H** e jerked awake feeling a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently, and looked up into the worried blue eyes of his mother. He brought a hand up to rub at his tired eyes, his face feeling tight with the dried tear tracks staining it which at least explained his mother's worried expression,until voices floated on the wind and his eyes widened in alarm. Stumbling to his feet he looked around blankly trying to find the direction the voices were coming from, it only sounded like a few men on horseback but still he knew better than anyone how many bandits were crawling through the forests ready to attack unsuspecting travellers.

When the sounds had faded, passing them by through the trees to their right, Merlin grabbed his mother's hand.

"We have to leave." He looked to her and seeing the sad smile on her face blinked back a fresh wave of tears, he gripped her hand in his, "I'm sorry." Not enough. It could never be enough for all that he had caused her but it was all he had.

She squeezed the hand that was gripping her own, still with that same sad smile on her face, "Okay, so where are we going my boy?"

"Um... I don't know." He admitted, his mother didn't say anything to that, just gripped his hand a little tighter and after checking that the fire was properly doused turned away from Camelot and started walking towards the unknown.

***

Mid-afternoon and Merlin was feeling extremely disheartened, they were still surrounded by tree's giving the impression that they had made very little progress, he knew his mother needed a rest though and some food it was obvious just looking at her that she had not been fed during her stay in the dungeons, and decided this patch of trees was as good as any other.

"We'll rest here awhile, I'm going to find us something to eat." He set up the magical barrier around their current camp and wandered off a short way letting his magic loose, feeling for the heartbeats of something they could eat.

He had not gone far when he felt a number of human heartbeats and he shrank down into the vegetation looking around to find the source, he couldn't see anyone though he knew they had to be nearby, ears straining for the slightest sign of them.

_'Emrys'_

A voice in his head made it instantly clear who was near and that he need not fear, the druids- even if they did not hold him in such high regard- were a peaceful people and known to help those in need, he could not deny that he and his mother could do with some help at the moment. He lifted his head eyes scanning around and slowly figures emerged through the trees.

_'Emrys, you are a long way from Camelot... is all well?'_

"My mother... we have had to flee... I'm sorry." He wasn't really sure why he was apologising to this group of druids, but knowing that they all believed he would bring magic back to the lands he couldn't help but feel guilty for having failed them.

_'You have nothing to be sorry for Emrys. I am Iseldir, why don't you fetch your mother and you may travel with us for now.'_

Merlin nodded his head gratefully, rushing off to let his mother know that they would no longer be alone. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy her company, growing up it had always been the two of them, but he wanted or needed to be able to have time to himself, he did not want his mother to know how much his recent actions had hurt him- he had saved his mother but lost the man he loved, although when it came to his mother he would always choose her above all others. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, had an asthma attack that left me convalescing for too long, anyway this chapter is for menono1011, hope you all enjoy ... (also sorry it's only short but wanted to get something up so you didn't think I'd abandoned it :) x)

 

 

_2-Heavy Hearts_

 

Cracking his eyes open, he groaned at the pain pounding through his skull, he lifted a hand hoping to rub at his temples in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain, only the heavy weight and clanking of chains brought him to full alert. He looked around at his surroundings. He was still in the forests somewhere across the border of Aescetir and not only was he chained up with a pounding headache he was also in an encampment of Cenred's knights.

He didn't remember much about the ambush but he could not see any of his knights being held prisoner and could only assume the worst. How had Cenred even known they were there, or was it merely his plan all along, to capture Merlin and lure him to his kingdom. The perfect excuse to start a war and now Cenred had Camelot's king, he only hoped that when they reached Cenred's castle he would at least be permitted to see Merlin one last time. He would be happy to see him again no matter how short or bittersweet.

He can't believe how badly this has turned out, the main reason he had traveled with so few was that he had hoped they could catch up with Merlin before they even reached the border, and now he is alone in another mans kingdom, held captive by his enemy and it will be at least a couple of days before Arthur thinks to send men after them. He knows that it hadn't been a well thought out plan, it had been rash but the only important thing to him was bringing Merlin home, safe.

It is with a heavy heart that Uther Pendragon - king of Camelot - is thrown unceremoniously over a horse while the knight mounts behind him, it is going to be a long and unpleasant journey to Cenred's castle.

 

_Merlin-_

 

He followed behind the small group, walking alone, watching his mother chat away to one of the druid women and knows that she will be alright, his thoughts however are with the man he left behind, he knows that by now Uther will no doubt be out looking for him and that thought alone makes his heart ache, for what really will he think once he learns of the truth.

He worries as to what will befall Camelot without him there to help, all the people that he loves who do not know of the true treachery unfolding around them. How long before Morgana and Cenred, he is hoping he managed to finish Morgause off, put whatever plot it is into motion, for there is no doubt that this is another bid to seize the throne.

Can he truly just walk away from those he loves, especially knowing that he is leaving them in danger? His mother is safe and he knows the druids will look after her well, he need not worry and he knows that if the truth about what he is comes to light then he really does owe an explanation to those who loved him in turn, it is cowardly to just run with not a word.

He knows really he is looking for any excuse to return home, that he is not yet ready to give up the life he has in Camelot, but he is so scared and his feet keep moving him forward, further away from his home.

His heavy heart aches in his chest and he is hit with the inexplicable feeling that there is something terribly wrong, causing his steps to falter and he staggers to a stop, one hand rubbing at his chest over his rapidly beating heart.

 

_Morgana-_

 

The first thing she did when she finally arrived at Cenred's stronghold was demand to see her sister. On entering her sisters rooms she felt the familiar feeling of fear gripping her heart. Morgause lay still on her bed, her visage pale, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath.

She rushed to her sisters side, clasping one clammy hand in both of her own, and rushing through her to override the fear was an anger she had never felt before. When she found out who had done this, she **would** kill them.

Her heart heavy at the thought of leaving her sister alone she reluctantly left her sisters chambers to see Cenred, she needed to know what had happened and he needed to know that the king of Camelot was entering his lands. Together they would come up with a new plan, to get revenge on the one who had hurt her sister and at the same time they would deal with the tyrant that was Uther.

 

_Merlin-_

 

He didn't really understand why he felt so much lighter than he had before, walking alone through unfamiliar forests, only that with every step he took his heart felt lighter and his chest ached less.

He had left his mother with the druids, along with a promise that he would meet up with her again just as soon as he could, once he knew for certain that Uther and Camelot were safe, because despite the troubling thoughts that his lover may wish to see him dead just as soon as he knew the truth he knew that he would rather die for that than live with the guilt of knowing he had done nothing but walk away.

So he let his feet carry him ever onward, away from his mother and back towards danger.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness of this update - hope you all enjoyed the festive season.  
> Enjoy :)  
> For utsaah whose message kicked me into action with the update :)

 

 

_3 - Enemies_

 

_Cenred's castle_

The king was taken straight through to the throne room of Cenred's citadel, his hands chained behind his back, upper arms gripped tight in the grasp of two knights. He growled as he was forced to his knees, beyond annoyed at appearing so weak before his enemies and so frustrated that there wasn't anything he could do. Though if his time was up he would much rather face death standing tall, with dignity, something he doubts Cenred will permit, the man always did get off on humiliating others.

His thoughts flit back to Merlin and wondering if he's alright, is he here? And if so will he be allowed to see him. Unbidden a dark thought forms in his mind, one more terrible than the others and he can't suppress the shiver that runs through him, what if Cenred has kept Merlin alive just so he can kill him before his eyes? That would certainly crush him.

"Father, it's so nice to see you here." The feminine voice shocks him and pulls him from his thoughts, his grey eyes alight upon his daughter who is casually leaning on the throne.

His thoughts race, it makes no sense, what is she doing here? Did she just call him father, how does she know? How long has she known?

"Not going to say hello? No matter, now tell me where he is!" The look she's giving him almost makes him flinch, there is nothing in her eyes but hatred.

He swallows and forces himself to speak, "Where who is?"

"Don't play stupid, your precious sorcerer... Merlin, where is he?"

Merlin, a sorcerer? He chuckles a little at that, though it could just be a release of the tension now that he knows Merlin isn't here, wherever he is he's safe.

"Oh you find that amusing do you? Is it funny how you kill my kind without a thought and yet at the end of the day you climb into bed with one." 

_'My kind'_

His thoughts swirling uncontrollably now and he can barely grasp onto anything coherent. Morgana, his daughter, is claiming that she and Merlin both are magic users, but how could that be? He would've known, wouldn't he?

"I don't know what you're talking about, and nor do I know where Merlin is."

"He hurt my sister and until I can find him and make him suffer you will just have to take his place." Turning from him as she made her way out of the room, he heard her order to the guards, "Take him to the dungeons, you know which cell." And then she was gone and he was once again being hauled to his feet.

 

_Aescetir - Merlin_

He looked upon the familiar white walls of Camelot, his heart beating wildly as his mind conjured up terrifying images of all those he loved within it's walls with blank dead eyes, fearing that he was already too late to stop whatever plot had been put into action. It no longer maattered what he feared though, this had to be done, he needed to help in whatever way he could and with a strengthening resolve he slipped calmly through the gates with measured steps.

He didn't know what exactly he had been expecting when entering the castle, but it was certainly not wht greeted him. The normal every day running of the citadel, perhaps without Morgause their plan had already fallen to the wayside, he could only hope. Still he needed to check up on the people he loved and though his heart told him this was Uther his mind told him it was the prince, if they were ever to bring about _Destiny._

He barely paused outside Arthur's chambers, stopping just long enough to take a deep breath, before pushing open the door and letting himself in.

Arthur was seated at his desk, a sheaf of parchments infront of him, he glanced up when he heard the door open and Merlin watched as a smile grew on the prince's lips only to swiftly be taken over by a frown as Arthur stood and headed toward him.

"Has my father returned with you?" Arthur asked.

Merlin felt his heart drop. Uther wasn't in Camelot, and if he wasn't here there was only one other place that the king would have gone and that was where he had just come from. He'd have to go back, he couldn't leave Uther with Cenred and possibly Morgause especially with how angry they were likely to be in the wake of his mothers rescue.

He took a deep breath, perhaps now was the time to start admitting who he was to those he loved, it seemed only fair now that his enemies knew.

"I didn't see Uther, I didn't even know he had left Camelot. I'm sorry."

"Wha- How is that possible? Surely you woul-"

Merlin cut him off, needing to get this done, "I rescued my mother and left her with druids just within the borders, then I made my way here."

"You left your _mother_ with _druids_... Merlin you have five seconds to start making some sense."

"I'm sorry Arthur, just know that I would never do anything to hurt you or your father, I love you both far too much for that." He took a shuddering breath, raising his eyes to meet the prince's confused ones, "I have magic... I was born with it. I've only ever used it to protect you and Camelot."

Arthur's expression was completely blank and closed off, not revealing any of the princes thoughts, he fought the the tears that threatened with every heartbeat that passed in continued silence.

Until suddenly there was a rush of movement and Arthur's face was too close, nothing but fury in his eyes, and Arthur's hands were gripping tightly around his throat.

"Where's my father?" Arthur hissed.

He subconsciously tried to swallow, the action blocked by the hands crushing his windpipe causing his breath to come in stuttering gasps. "I-I d'n't kn'w."

Arthur pushed him away, allowing much welcomed air back into his lungs, the sudden inrush causing him to choke slightly. He raised a hand and rubbed at his sore throat, watching Arthur out of the corner of his eye as the prince paced before his desk hands buried in blonde locks.

"He went looking for you, Merlin!"

"A'th'r," He tried to clear his throat but it burned uncomfortably, threatening to choke him again.

A goblet was shoved into his line of sight, he followed along the fingers holding it, up the arm to the face to meet the prince's eyes, the fury now simmering put aside in order to gain answers. Still he nodded in thanks taking the goblet and drinking the cool water down greedily, when it was empty he again attempted to clear his throat, though this time a lot more successfully.

"Arth'r 's Morgana here?"

"What? What has Morgana got to do with any of this?"

"Jus' 's she here? In Cam'lot?"

"No, to be honest I'm not sure where she is. I sent out a patrol earlier but the only tracks they found were those belonging to my father's company. Why? Do you know where she is?"

"I believe she's with Cenred 'n' M'rgause. They're sisters." He kept his eyes locked with Arthur's, silently begging him to just listen, "I'm not sure what they hop'd to 'chieve in taking my m'ther, but they all know now about... my magic. Morgana wasn't there but tha's probably where she is. Morgause was... with my mother... and I... I don't know if..."

"So my father?"

"I fear we must assume they have him. I **will** bring him back Arthur, I swear." He didn't bother to stay ant longer, not willing to waste any more time, and well now that Arthur knew it wasn't like he had to hide it so he whispered the words that would set him on the path to rescuing Uther.

 

_Cenred's castle- Merlin_

Merlin glanced up once again at Cenred's castle, it was hard to believe that only a couple of days ago he was here to rescue his mother, and now here he was once again to save somebody that he loved with all his soul.

It certainly seemed now that his hopes of Morgause being dead were unlikely to be true, if she were then Morgana would not have hung around, no she would have torn the countryside apart to find him if it were so.

It seemed as though they had stepped up security somewhat since he had last been here, there seemed to be a lot more guards around than there had bee only days ago. He would have laughed at their vain attempts to keep him out if he weren't once again seething with anger. 

With a whispered spell the guards at the gates dropped into sleep. He didn't even have time to smile at the simplicity of it when a harsh shriek rent the air, he covered his ears, looking around for the source of the noise but found nothing. A loud clang had his head whipping back to the gates now covered with the portcullis and he knew that his arrival and subsequent spell had not gone unnoticed. He braced himself realising that perhaps this time it would not be so easy as he had thought.

 

_Morgana-_

"Well, it seems your precious _pet_ has arrived." Morgana crowed gleefully, enjoying the disgusted look that flashed across her father's face, "Oh don't be like that... I thought you'd be anxious to see your lover once more, perhaps I'll even let you die together... on a pyre big enough for two."

She walked away with a large smirk on her face, the fear that she had just witnessed on Uther's face making her glow inside with happiness. He should be scared, and well the pyre seemed the only fitting way for him to die, after all the innocents he had condemned to that same fate.

She made her way to Morgause's room, there was no rush to see Merlin, he would be contained within the dungeons soon enough. And then, revenge would be so sweet, after that taking Camelot would be easy.

Yes, today was a _very good_ day.

 

_Uther-_

He watched his daughter leave with fear on his face, what had happened to her to turn her into this... he didn't recognise the woman he had had the _pleasure_ of spending the last hour or so with.

He wondered if it were true about Merlin. Not just the magic, even though when he had been alone and had time to think on it the possibility seemed ever more likely, it would certainly make sense. Hadn't he and Arthur discussed him having a _guardian angel_?

Was it true that he was here though, had he come to save him? It was obvious that there seemed to be very little love lost between Merlin and Morgana and though he was curious as to why he couldn't help the hope that perhaps if Merlin were here then they would both make it safely back to Camelot.

 

_Merlin-_

Before he had fully grasped what was going on he was surrounded by numerous knights, most with drawn swords but some were wielding spears. He rolled his eyes, really this was the best they could come up with? He supposed though that it was to his benefit that even now Morgana knew of his magic she still underestimated him.

He raised both hands and with a wordless push of his magic sent more than half the men flying, some seeing this dropped their weapons and ran and he couldn't stop the small humourless chuckle that escaped. With another flash of golden eyes the remaining men, who had been slowly edging nearer, were flung away to land in a heap with their companions.

He turned back to the gate, wondering if he would be able to blast it open when a sharp pain overcame him, emanating outwards from his side, burning like fire though he knew it wasn't. He brought his hand to it even as his eyes caught sight of the fletching.

He only had a short moment of surprise before his head exploded with pain and the world quickly went blissfully dark.

 

_Uther-_

He looked up when he heard the heavy tread of booted feet, his eyes going to the door of his cell, he held his breath as the footsteps stopped outside, the jingling of keys, the door opening slightly before something... _s omeone_ was thrown inside and the door slammed shut once again.

He shuffled as close as his chains would allow, growling in frustration when he came up far short of the man lying crumpled on the floor. He couldn't even tell if he was alive from here, though he could see blood on his face that seemed to come from a head wound, there was more blood but he had no way of knowing where it was coming from.

This was definitely the very worst kind of torture he could think of, to be so close to his lover, only feet away, but to be unable to reach out and touch. To be forced to just watch as blood continued to pool around him on the dirty cell floor, to be unable to help or even reassure himself that he was still alive...

He let the tears fall unashamedly, all he could do was wait... until Merlin awoke, _if_ he awoke... no mustn't think that he _will_ wake up, or for someone to come in.

He had always been a strong and fearless king, the last time he had felt this hopeless was when Ygraine had died, was he now to endure the same grief and heartache of watching as his loved one slipped away while he was utterly unable to do anything? Was this his punishment? Did he truly deserve this?

He fell to the floor as the sobs shook his body, not even realising that all the while he was murmuring soft apologies to his love. He didn't know what to do.

There was _nothing_ he _could_ do.

 

_ Morgana- _

She grasped her sisters hand just a little tighter, oh so happy with the news that she had just received- Merlin was captured, injured but nothing fatal well not quickly fatal. He had been put in the same cell as Uther, a thought that made her tingle, two traitors locked together and now that the king of Camelot knew the truth of his lovers nature it was sure to be a most _pleasant_ stay for the both of them.

She smiled to herself, looking down upon her sisters pale visage and imagining the torment that even now her father must be suffering. He deserved every single second of it, as did the servant boy!

She had thought that the betrayal she had suffered from her father was the worst she could ever suffer, it was only now she knew the truth of Merlin that she discovered his betrayal cut her much more deeply, though she did not understand why this should be, after all he had once poisoned her.

No matter, he would be dealt with soon enough.

Her smile faded slightly, though she was not sure why, Merlin well deserved death for all that he had done to her and her sister.

_ 'I do understand, believe me!' _

_ 'We can find another way' _

Was this what he had meant? Was his plan all along to get close to the king?

...For some reason she could not bring herself to believe that, she knew the boy well and knew enough of him to know that he would stoop to such a level, it just wasn't in his nature. But why go against his people? Why poison her so needlessly? She would never understand just what had happened that day, besides being betrayed by the _only_ person she had trusted.

She wondered how long it would be prudent to leave him unattended for, she knew he was injured with a quite possibly fatal wound if he did not receive treatment soon, perhaps she should leave him to his slow and painful death. It was no more than he deserved, surely?

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For menono1011 in thanks for all your lovely messages :)  
> Enjoy :)

 

_Morgana-_

She waltzed into the cell utterly pleased by the tear tracks still visible on her father's face and sauntered over to the man lying on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. Good it was no more than he deserved... and yet it wasn't enough, she could not leave him to die in this manner, not because she cared, but because it was too easy, too merciful and that was something he did not deserve for all that he had done.

She knelt down next to him, avoiding the blood, and lifted her hands to his side, where the blood still leaked from but less than it had been.

" _Ic hae_ -" 

"Get away from him!" Uther's shouts cut off her chant and she sneered as she looked over at him.

"What can you do? Sentence me to death, hmm, or are you merely wanting the _pleasure_ of killing him yourself. Just another _filthy sorcerer_!" She spat, she turned her attention back on the young man below her, " _Ic haele pina prowunga_!" Her eyes burned gold and she felt the familiar comforting tingle of her magic at work, lifting up his tunic she was happy to see nothing more than a fresh pink scar. She smiled to herself then turned back to the other man in the cell who had been pulling at his chains and shouting his frustration the whole time.

"Don't worry it was merely a healing spell, he won't die...yet."

His eyes followed hers back to the form on the floor. There was a groan of discomfort and she watched as a shaky hand reached up to dark hair, feeling the wound there, after another small groan she watched smiling as Merlin rolled to the side shaking and wretching violently.

She made her way towards the cell door, a large smile still spread across her face.

"You boys be sure to have fun catching up. I'll be sure to tell Arthur you say hello." She called back just before letting the door shut with a dull thud.

She almost wished she could stay and watch, but alas she had more important things to do, she needed to tend to her sister and check in with Cenred, it was about time his army started making for Camelot.

 

_Uther-_

He watched as the door fell shut behind his daughter, a fresh burst of pain overwhelming him. How could she be doing this, and taking such enjoyment from it? If what she had said about Merlin were true, which he believed it was, then he was her kin just as much as Uther himself, and yet she had constructed a plan to kidnap Merlin's mother to lure them here and now she wanted nothing more than to see them both dead.

Although it sounded like she had not known before about Merlin's magic, something that had only come to light during his mother's rescue, he just couldn't understand the hatred she had for his lover.

Uther had known many sorcerer's, many good sorcerer's, but after Nimueh's betrayal he had refused to see anything, consumed as he was with rage and hatred and the betrayal from one so close to he and his wife. Looking down at the man he had come to love, watching while he shook and wretched as though his very stomach were trying to break free, it was hard to see Merlin as an evil, lying sorcerer.

But that was what he was, wasn't it? He had lied to everyone in Camelot, earned peoples love and trust, their respect and all along he was hiding who he really was, betraying that trust. Merlin wasn't even from his kingdom, so why come to Camelot, was it all a ploy? Was he seeking revenge?

He thought about the things he knew of Merlin, of the conversation he had shared with Arthur, everytime his son went out to fight some unknown magical threat, everytime he had watched out of the window as Arthur and Merlin returned victorious. Except that time with the questing beast, when Gaius had told him there was no cure and he himself had grieved with the people despite the heart still beating in his sons chest. How he had come in to Arthur's chambers to check on him only to find Merlin and Gaius giving him something and acting shifty but when his old friend had suggested it may be a cure he hadn't stopped to think on how strange that was only been too happy and relieved especially after his sons eyes had fluttered and his breathing had eased.

Even with how they had found out about this secret was the result of a selfless and noble deed, just a young mans wish and determination to see his mother safe, he could not really punish him for that.

Still though... magic... if he were honest- it terrified him. The power...

How many times had he cursed Nimueh and all those who practiced such unnatural talents...

He shook his head to clear away the thoughts upon hearing another low groan, now was not the time for this, and watched as Merlin rolled onto his back, seemingly staring at the ceiling, though even from where he was he could see the tears running down those soft cheeks, he wanted to reach out, to wipe those tears away but he couldn't and not just because he was chained.

"Merlin." He called softly, watching as the other mans eyes squeezed closed and a fresh wave of tears slid out from beneath dark lashes.

 

_Merlin-_

"Merlin." He heard his name called in a soft voice, one he knew all too well... _'Merlin' the soft voice called to him exactly the opposite of the hardness pressing against the back of his thigh though both had the same effect in causing him to roll over a smile on his face to see those soft grey eyes staring deeply back at him just before their lips met_ , and squeezed his eyes shut against the tears, he could feel his body shaking with the suppressed sobs as he bit down on his lip, a small whimper escaping despite his best efforts. It was only a matter of time until he broke completely.

He wanted to apologise, to wrap his arms around the man he loved and take comfort in the fact that for now they were both alive, but he couldn't, couldn't open his mouth for fear of the pain that would come pouring out. His lungs were screaming at him to breathe, tongue tasting blood from his bitten lip and his body trembling enough that the force of keeping his head still was physically painful, but that was good, it was grounding.

"Merlin." 

Oh no, no, he gasped in a breath, his eyes flying open as he choked on his tears, curling up and hugging himself tightly while he cried like he hadn't in many years, not even when Will had died, no this pain was more reminiscent of when Freya died, only a thousand times worse.

He needed to pull himself together, he was no use to either of them curled up and bawling like a baby, but the tears for now just wouldn't stop and the burning in his lungs echoed the clenching pain of his heart and he felt like any minute now he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, perhaps it would bring some relief from this all consuming pain, and there was no-one to blame for any of this but himself.

"Merlin, please..."

He drew in a great shuddering breath, still fighting the sorrow that filled his soul, trying his hardest to put an end to this breakdown, he may have lost the man he loves but they were both still alive, Uther was alive that was all that mattered, and he needed to keep it together so that they stood a chance of escaping, it was so hard though and he still wasn't ready to face his lover and find hatred and disgust in those eyes he so loved.

He drew in another ragged breath, and another, slowly concentrating on his breathing, a few tears still fell from his eyes but his breathing was easing. He eased himself up, his body shaking and trembling, and took a deep breath before flicking his eyes towards the man he loved.

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes locked onto the grey ones, a familiar softness shining within them. Did Uther not hate him? Oh god, did he not know or believe? Was he going to have to tell him the truth himself? He hoped not it had been hard enough having to tell Arthur, he had thought that Uther knew, was sure Morgana would have used it against them.

He glanced away, keeping his eyes on his boots, and let out a shuddering sigh. "I'm... I'm so sorry, I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry..." His voice trailed off into quiet sobs, God he was stupid.

"Look we can talk about it later, alright, just- we need to get out of here. Can you... _do_ \- anything?"

He turned his head away, he had never felt so ashamed he was so wound up and scared, terrified really, that his magic was nothing more than a jittery presence beneath his skin, he was absolutely useless until he managed to calm himself.

"Please, Merlin, with us here they'll be going after Camelot... after Arthur."

Arthur? Camelot?

...Gwen, Gaius?

No... No!

He couldn't, _wouldn't_ , let that happen!

+

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, firstly I am very sorry for the late update...  
> ...and secondly this chapter is for Alice :)   
> Enjoy :)

 

 

_Morgana-_

She couldn't keep the smirk from her lips as she rode at the head of Cenred's men, Morgause seated in front of her. Her sister had regained much of her strength though she was not yet completely well after the power Merlin had used against her, but her sister was as stubborn as she and there was no way she would allow herself to be left behind when Camelot was so close to being their's.

The thousand or so men at her back may not have had the talent that Camelot's knights did but with magic on their side and the disappearance of Camelot's king their victory was assured, Arthur would surrender the moment they informed him of his fathers plight. She let her lips pull into a full blown smile, looking nothing like it used to only a couple of years ago before the betrayals, scowling at the thought of those two men,  _they deserve each other_. With a bit of luck they'll have hopefully killed one another.

Noticing her sister awakening she holds her more tightly as she draws the horse to a halt. "Easy sister, how are you feeling?"

The other's fall in behind them, Cenred sitting anxiously on his own horse waves over one of the knights to help bring Morgause down and Morgana follows. She nods to Cenred who in turn nods to his men and the army carries on moving towards Camelot except for a handful of knights who remain behind as guards, sitting a respectful distance away.

"Here, sister," She passes over a waterskin and watches pleased as Morgause drinks deeply, "If that **boy**  is still alive when we return, I swear we will offer him only the slowest most painful end."

"Sister," And Morgana hates how it is no more than a spoken breath, fear and anger clutch at her heart. "Sister, we will... h-have Cam-elot."

"Ssh, you need to rest, sister." She strokes her fingers softly through the long blonde waves, fighting against the tears that threaten to fall as she continues petting her sister's hair long after Morgause is asleep.

 

_Uther-_

"Please, Merlin, with us here they'll be going after Camelot... after Arthur." He begged trying to get through to the other man, to pull him out of the breakdown he was suffering. He had gone through too many emotions over the last days, with the discovery of Merlin's secret, and at first he hadn't known whether to be angry, disgusted or fearful, truthfully he still didn't know how to feel about it but one thing he did know after watching Merlin sob and wretch fit to fall apart, the sorrow and guilt and overwhelming _pain_ on the young mans face, they needed each other and for that he would first have to reassure his lo- Merlin.

He saw how that pale face suddenly set with determination, was looking in those oddly fierce blue eyes when they turned a brilliant gold and he stumbled slightly with the release of his wrists, and really this was something else, _Merlin_ was something else.

He had never known or seen magic done like that, instinctual, no words, no wild gestures... it was more than a little unnerving, still he steeled his resolve and cautiously made his way to kneel at Merlin's side, who had turned his head away, once more blue eyes now filled with a deep shame.

He stroked his shaking hand gently over Merlin's hair, feeling how the once soft strands were ratty with the need of a wash and comb. Slowly he brought the younger man into a warm embrace, shushing his incessant apologies as they tumbled from his lips as tears fell from his eyes. After a short while, when Merlin had finally calmed down, he pulled away and got to his feet, putting a little distance between them.

"We need to return to Camelot, as soon as possible, warn Arthur, is there anything you can do?" He asked using his stern 'I am the king' voice, unable to suppress a slight wince as frightened blue eyes locked on his. He breathed a sigh of relief though when Merlin tentatively nodded.

He watched, fighting the instinct to offer a hand, as Merlin pulled himself shakily to his feet and swaying a little. Though Merlin had turned to face him his eyes were darting about the cell, unwilling to make eye contact as he mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Sorry?"

"Um, you need to take my hand," Merlin cleared his throat, eyes darting up then away, "My Lord."

And those two words _hurt_ , but why should they, they were just words but no rationality would take away the ache in his chest that had followed them. He nodded and made his way over, kingly mask firmly in place as he let his fingers tangle with Merlin's, ignoring the memory of the last time their fingers had been thus entwined. He looked towards him and nodded again offering his hand a squeeze in reassurance.

He closed his eyes as the world seemed to shrink around him, his body being squeezed, lungs burning with the need to draw in more oxygen, then just as suddenly he was free, falling to his knees, gasping in breaths til his head felt light and fuzzy.

Looking around, he spotted Merlin a short way from him sprawled face first in the mulch of the forest's floor, Camelot's outer walls glowing faintly in the evening light, the white stones reflecting the reds of the sun.

He made his way back over to Merlin, only remembering as his fingers caught in the bloody tangle of fringe that he had suffered a head wound, this with the magic on top must have drained him of all his energy for it was obvious that Merlin was once again lost to unconsciousness.

Still Camelot wasn't very far from where they were, and they couldn't afford any delays, so with that in mind he gathered the younger man up into his arms, cradling him close to his chest as he got back on his feet and started making his way towards the familiar walls of home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this chapter longer but  
> ... well the next chapter is...  
> you'll see!  
>  ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this chapter longer but well it was starting to frustrate me and I figured it was time to put something up for you all anyway so...

 

_When love is lost..._

_Uther-_

He stumbled just a little as he finally made it to Camelot's gates and paused briefly to readjust the weight in his arms, looking down at Merlin's peaceful face so young and innocent in his sleep, the way whisps of dark hair fell over closed eyes, slightly parted lips blowing out puffs of warm breath and wondered what would happen now.

He noticed the guards eyeing him curiously and quickly smoothed his face into a blank mask while barking out orders.

"Close and lock the gates, no-one is to enter or leave. You, run ahead and inform Gaius he has a patient to prepare for, when you've done that inform Arthur to gather the knights and meet me in the council chambers." Both guards nodded and ran off to carry out his orders. He was grateful neither had offered to relieve him of his burden, and shifting Merlin slightly higher in his arms he continued to head to Gaius' chambers as behind him the portcullis dropped with a clang.

Gaius met him with a worried look inside his chambers and he was relieved to finally be able to put Merlin down, though he didn't look it the young man was rather heavy and well he was not as young as he used to be, still there was also a part of him that didn't want to leave him yet though he knew he had to, they were at war and soon an army would be outside the walls. It was his duty as king to see to preparations, he only hoped Merlin would awaken soon.

"What's wrong with him, sire?" Gaius asked, worry lacing his tone, and he felt a brief fury take over him at the obvious betrayal of one of his only friends, for Gaius must have known the truth it was obvious when he thought about it, but there was no time for that.

"He was injured, a head wound, he was also shot though I believe Morgana healed that, other than that I think it is merely that he has exhausted himself by using so much magic." He forced his voice to remain calm and not betray the emotions he was feeling, even so he took a small amount of satisfaction at the horrified... no, terrified look on the older man's face. "I have an urgent matter to attend to, Gaius, I trust you will inform me when he awakes?"

"O-of course... my lord." Gaius bowed slightly, still with eyes betraying fear and skin ashen, before turning his attention to Merlin.

Uther smiled in satisfaction, with one last look back he left the physicians quarters. 

 

Entering the council chambers he was pleased to see Arthur and several of the higher ranking knights and without even a thought he rushed to embrace his son, holding him close, fighting back joyful tears at being able to see his son again. Eventually though he pulled back, a smile on his face and trying not to chuckle at the dumbfounded expression Arthur was wearing, really it made him look a bit of a simpleton.

His happy bubble was burst as soon as Arthur opened his mouth.

"Where's Merlin, father? What's going on?" 

Uther dropped into the nearest chair and allowed Arthur to chivvy the knights out of hearing distance after seeing the defeated look in his fathers eyes. He rubbed a hand down his face wondering where exactly to start. He would have to tell Arthur the truth. Shame curled in his stomach, making his throat tight as his eyes filled with self deprecating tears.

"Morgana," He croaked, "Arthur, I've lied to you both... I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me..."

"Merlin said that Morgause and Morgana were sisters, is that true?"

"Half sisters, Gorlois isn't... wasn't Morgana's father -"

"What? I don't understand, how do you know?"

"Morgana is your sister Arthur, well half sister, she and Morgause share a mother and you and Morgana share the same..."

"...Father." Arthur finished for him. Arthur collapsed into a nearby chair and raked his hands through his hair, seemingly trying to gather himself, Uther didn't blame him, he needed a moment himself, for so many years he had kept this secret and now it was threatening to destroy all that he had worked for. In a way he supposed he could empathise with Merlin on bearing the burden of a secret that would threaten your whole life if it were to be discovered, forget king of Camelot he was the king of hypocrisy.

"Arthur, please, I'm sorry I never told you but even now she and Cenred are headed here to wage war."

"...Where's Merlin?" Arthur asked, eyes avoiding his own and he felt his body slump. 

In all the imagining's of Arthur discovering this truth, of which there were not many mainly as he had worked hard to ensure it never be discovered, he would never have expected there to be no reaction and that itself was more worrying. He would have expected anger, shouting and accusations, not this calm nothingness.

He sighed heavily and opened his mouth to say what he wasn't sure but the heavy wooden doors opening pulled away his attention, as did the quietly arguing voices of those who had entered.

 

_Merlin-_

He opened his eyes feeling slightly groggy and lifted a hand to his head hoping to alleviate the pounding there. He had a sense that he was missing something important and fought to remember what.

Looking around helped to discover that he was in Gaius' chambers, when he did he return... oh, oh god. 

It all came rushing back to him and he staggered to his feet, startling Gaius in the process.

"Merlin!" Gaius exclaimed, rushing over to him and trying to push him back down to the bed as he swayed on his feet, but he was needed, Morgana was on her way and without magic on their side Camelot would fall and he couldn't let that happen, no matter what.

"Gaius, where's the king?" 

"He's in the council chambers, but Merlin you need to rest." Gaius attempted to once again force him back to the bed and Merlin let out a low growl of frustration.

"Gaius, I need to be there! Morgana is due to invade any time!"

"Merlin... Uther knows... your magic-"

"I know. Look we will worry about that later, now we need to go. Come on." And he headed for the door, trusting that Gaius would follow after all there was no-one more loyal to Camelot than the two of them, they would both happily lay down their lives for the sake of the kingdom.

Of course just because Gaius had been unsuccessful in keeping him in bed did not mean that the old man had given up lecturing. Hissing lowly about his need to rest after such an extraneous use of magic, rattling on about concussions and lack of sleep and a stream of questions as to what had happened since Gaius had last seen him. Merlin managed to ignore him as long as he could, which was actually a surprising while but before they had reached the doors to the council chambers Gaius had finally drawn him in.

"-at bout Arthur, Merlin? Merlin?"

"It's fine Gaius, just leave it for now yeah, please." 

So it was, that when they finally made it through the heavy doors they were both hissing in whispers at one another and failed to notice that they were currently the centre of attention.

When the silence finally weighed on both of them, he looked up to find the knights all gathered at the far side of the room and Arthur and Uther seated close together at the table, and everyone's eyes on the pair of them. He swallowed uncomfortably and shifted from one foot to the other, still- always, uncomfortable with the attention.

"Ah Merlin, I was wondering when you'd be joining us." Arthur called out jovially and Merlin's mind flickered back to the last time he had seen Arthur, of hands around his neck, squeezing and it took conscious effort not to lift his hands to his throat to soothe the phantom ache. 

Instead he offered a weak smile, his eyes briefly flicking towards Uther who was still staring at him as though he'd never seen him and making him feel even more uncomfortable, before looking again to the prince.

"Sorry, we... were delayed." He offered lamely, gesturing towards Gaius with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, now that everyone's here-" Arthur started, before being abruptly cut off by Uther.

"Actually I would like a word with the three of you," Uther turned to the knights, "Set up regular patrols of the walls, inform the citizens there is a curfew in effect, gather those who are willing and able and arm them, we are likely to be facing siege. You know what to do. Dismissed."

Arthur was eyeing him curiously and Merlin offered a half-hearted shrug.

"Will you two sit down." Uther ordered after the knights had filed out, and Merlin and Gaius slowly made their way to the table and sat. Merlin made sure he was seated a good distance from the king though it pained him to do so, but right now he had no idea where he stood, whether he was going to be ordered to the dungeons any minute. He hadn't realised that he was panicking, that his breathing had grown erratic until he heard Uther's voice cutting through the fuzziness in his head with a worried 'Gaius?' And felt the parchment like coolness of his mentor's fingers on the back of his neck.

"Merlin, you need to breath. Copy me." Gaius took one of Merlin's hands and placed it on his own chest as the physician drew in deliberately exaggerated breaths which Merlin struggled to copy. Eventually though his breathing eased and he shut his eyes against the tears that threatened. Now really wasn't the time for a breakdown.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Arthur demanded.

Merlin looked to Uther, "Arthur knows. I... I told him before I came to find you." 

Uther nodded once, a short jerky motion of his head.

 

_Uther-_

 

He looked at the others in the room, his son, his... lover, his friend, all people he trusted or had trusted, or maybe he still did, he didn't know. Right now he wasn't sure if it mattered, the main problem would be how to do what he needed to do without causing panic or rebellion or...

No, none of that mattered just yet, there would be time to worry about that after the battle was fought and won, for now though they just needed to protect Camelot and her people.

"Merlin. What can you do against the magic they have on their side?" He asked in a faux casual voice, but still he met the young mans blue eyes trying to reassure him.

"Um, well." Merlin looked to Gaius, who nodded, before he seemed to sit a little straighter, an aura of confidence and power wrapping around him, and fuck if that just wasn't a bit of a turn on... "I could put up a shield around the citadels walls, reinforce the gates with magic and if all that failed... um I'm not sure. I suppose it would depend on what they do but I... um..."

Uther looked instead now to Gaius, he was unsure if Merlin was exaggerating although from what he'd already seen of his magic he had been able to guess that his lover was powerful.

"I believe Merlin would be able to help, although I still think he could do with more rest first, it was quite a nasty head injury he received, sire."

"Gaius!" Merlin whined and he may have had to stifle a laugh behind his hand though when his eyes briefly met with his sons amused ones the laughter bubbled out of him of its own volition. It only got worse when Merlin turned wide incredulous blue eyes on him with a pout.

Finally calming down he continued, "Merlin, you will rest until the threat is nearer so that you may be more use. Arthur, I want you to rest aswell, take a turn at patrolling the walls though, ensure you are seen, it will help give our people heart. Gaius I believe you have preparations to attend to setting up the infirmary..." 

Gaius rose to his feet, bowing low with a 'sire' and giving a pointed glance to Merlin who seemed to be purposefully avoiding the older mans eyes. Arthur seemed to look between all of them before getting to his feet too.

"I'll walk with you Gaius, I was meaning to talk to you..." Arthur's voice trailed off as he led the old physician from the room with an unusual display of tact. 

And then it was just he and Merlin and though the time still didn't seem right it also seemed as though there may not be a better time for this discussion, after all once the battle was begun there was no guarantee that they would both be around at the end of it, and though that thought was not a pleasant one it was even worse to think of either of them passing without having sorted this out.

It was time for him to try and sort through his feelings regarding magic, perhaps it was long past time that he let go of his old hatred for the betrayal he had suffered at the hands of a sorceress, he had always told Arthur that to know the heart of one sorcerer was to know them all even though he knew that was untrue. Merlin was more than proof of that and well if not for magic... Arthur wouldn't be here, he was not arrogant enough to think that all of Arthur's victories since Merlin's arrival could actually be credited to his son.

Although knowing Morgana had magic and that she wanted to use it to attack her very home well... but then again he thought that perhaps if it weren't for the ban maybe she wouldn't be as she is now, vicious and hateful, and everything h had told his people sorcerer's were.

"What happened between you and Morgana?" He asked, this was something that had been niggling at him ever since Morgana had told him of Merlin's secret for he had been unable to understand her hatred for the young man.

 

_Merlin-_

"What happened between you and Morgana?" Uther asked quietly, genuine curiosity in his voice and Merlin felt like groaning in despair, of all the questions, of all the things he had done, it was this perhaps that would lose him Uther forever. He swallowed down his sorrow though, it was understandable that Uther would want to know and maybe if he could get through this with his head still attached then perhaps everything that came after would be better.

"You remember the knights of Medhir? When there was the sleeping curse?" He took a deep shaky breath, he had to do this, still he was scared of the consequences, his heart pounding rapidly within his chest while his head beat out a matching rhythm. "Morgana was working with Morgause, she was the vessel for the curse... and the only way to break the curse was... was... to destroy the vessel..."

He trailed off keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the wood grain of the council table and waited for the explosion, when after a few minutes silence still reigned he lifted his head darting his eyes to Uther, seeing the horror and confusion on his beloved king's face.

"I didn't want to, you have to believe me... but... it was her or the whole of Camelot." He knew he was pleaded, begging for a forgiveness he did not feel he deserved but really anything at the moment would be better than this suffocating silence.

"You... What did you do?" Uther finally choked out.

"I poisoned her." He mumbled, head down filled with a bone deep shame, this what he had done to Morgana had always been his greatest regret but even now he would have done the same thing for what other choice was there? To let Camelot fall? Should he have let her and Morgause slaughter hundreds of innocents in the name of vengeance? No, he would not change it even if he could but he was sorry for it, and he hated Morgana for putting him in such a predicament in the first place.

"You tried to kill her? For Camelot?" Uther had tears running down his face, and Merlin longed to reach out to him, for them to hold each other in their arms and take the comfort they both needed and knowing he no longer had a right to do so, he could feel his own tears creating itchy tracks down his face but couldn't be bothered wiping them away, it seemed pointless anyway. He nodded his head, unable to trust his voice right now. "She was already betraying us? ...Even then?" 

He moved now though because Uther just sounded so lost and heartbroken and he couldn't stand it. He moved to kneel on the floor at Uther's feet and wrapped his arms around the kings waist as he lay his head on those strong thighs. He felt Uther's arms come up and wrap around him, and Uther lay his head atop his own, feeling the others tears as they trickled into his hair.

He stroked Uther, over his clothes everywhere he could reach, trying to provide a modicum of comfort, all the while whispering how sorry he was. 

He didn't know how long they stayed like that until their tears were all used up before Uther shifted, lifting Merlin's head with a finger under his chin, the king whispered softly, "Come on, let's go to bed we can talk more comfortably there."

Bed? Together...? Even if it was to carry on talking Merlin couldn't stop the small smile or the feeling of hope and relief that burst bright in his chest.

 

_Uther-_

He pulled Merlin down onto the bed with him when the younger man had just continued to dither at the side of it, they were both still fully dressed and this time was not for that, now was still for trying to work out where to go from here, whether he could forgive and accept his young lover for who he was, what he'd done in the name of Camelot. But if it was true that Morgana had already been working against them even then, and he had no reason to disbelieve this not now that she had shown her true self, then how could he not be grateful for the sacrifice Merlin had made so that Camelot would prevail?

They talked for hours, Merlin telling him stories of the things he had managed with his magic how he had always been ready to defend Arthur, even if it meant his own life, how he had even saved Uther more than once. 

He could hardly believe it when Merlin had told him of the time of the questing beast, how he had bargained with Nimueh who had tricked and betrayed him... How he had killed her in a fit of vengeance. And that right there, he had never felt a greater feeling of twisted joy shoot through him. Nimueh was dead, gone. Hee never had to worry about her again.

Right then he had kissed that amazing young man for accomplishing something he had only dreamed of for years. Pressing chaste kisses to Merlin's face and hairline, making the young man squirm slightly amidst protesting giggles, and well maybe Merlin had magic, but well maybe that didn't really matter all that much, it seemed too much to blame him for it when he himself had used magic to conceive his son, and his daughter had magic and... perhaps it was time that things changed.

But for now, as the sun started to come up it was definitely time for them to sleep. It had been a long night full of many revelations, of things going on in his kingdom that he hadn't even been aware of, and he realised how truly special this young man was, to shoulder such burdens alone, living in... fear... His eyes drifted closed to the soft snores of his lover held loosely in his arms...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Ta da! :)  
>  Anyway thinking there may be a bit of smut in the next chapter and a big battle to enjoy so will post again soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive apologies for the ridiculously long wait, this was intended to be the last chapter but it has refused to co-operate so I lied when I promised a big battle, I'm afraid that will now be in the next chapter... still hope you all enjoy :) Let me know what you think, next chapter will probably be the last, and will try to upload it in a reasonable length of time.
> 
> Ok for: b92morgan, emmee, dustyboy1209 and thejammysod (nice name btw) :)

 

_Don't Look Back_

_Merlin-_

He slowly awoke feeling warm and comfortable, he would just lie here for a little while longer and... wait this was the bed he shared with Uther, and suddenly he became aware of a few other things, the warm weight at his back, the heavy arm draped over his waist and the interesting  bulge pressing against his arse. He wriggled further back into Uther's embrace and ran his fingers gently along the arm keeping him trapped.

He sighed happily with a mischievous smile as he felt Uther's hips stutter, and heard a low moan from the other mans throat, he bit his lip in an effort to keep quiet as he pushed his arse back. He could tell Uther was slowly waking, the arm wrapped around him tightened before dropping lower, one fingertip running along the top of his breeches causing him to wriggle against the tickling, until the fingertip disappeared, Uther's hand instead dropping to where his cock strained against its confines. He pushed into it, seeking friction and moaning at the feeling of being back in his lovers arms.

Uther's lips brushed against the back of his neck, as the older mans hands moved to the fastenings of his breeches, unknotting the laces and pushing the material out of the way enough to free his erection. He let out a small grunt when Uther's large hand wrapped around his heated flesh, stroking him in a leisurely manner that was sure to drive him crazy. He let his own hands wander to the other's pants but after some fruitless fumbling gave up the attempts instead letting his eyes shine gold as his magic did the work for him. As soon as he realised what he had done, and who he was with, his whole body tensed in fear, yes they had talked about magic but there was a big difference between talking about something that had been the death of hundreds, thousands maybe, and actually using it.

He heard a low chuckle from behind him and opened his eyes, _when had he closed them?_  and felt his body slowly start to relax as Uther's chuckles continued, making them both shake with the vibrations.

"Uther?" He whispered, a little concerned.

"Sorry, it's just that..." He broke off as a fresh wave of amusement seemed to hit him and Merlin was pulled into a tighter embrace, "Only you-"

"Wha-?" He was cut off as Uther twisted him around so that they were now face to face and he could see for himself the laughter shining in those grey eyes, Uther gestured with a hand to himself and Merlin glanced down his lovers naked body... _Oh_... _naked_. Ah, well he had never claimed to be patient and it seemed in this his magic completely agreed with him, still he couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity of it all.

He was cut off by lips pressing against his and he eagerly opened his mouth, letting their tongues brush and dance, his hands roved over the broad back as his hips shifted restlessly, their cocks brushing together in a not enough but oh so good way, while their mouths and hands continued to devour.

And though he wanted to treasure this moment, make it last, Uther seemed to have other plans as he wrapped one large hand around them both and began tugging, their precome slicking the way, hips thrusting together all while their mouths remained connected, merely moaning into one another's mouths and sharing breaths. It was too soon Merlin felt that tightening in his guts, his balls drawn up, breaths coming in in harsh pants, as his hips stuttered out of rhythm.

His back arched as the dam broke,  his orgasm washing over him and leaving him not quite with it as he floated on the sea of bliss, he was aware enough that He felt Uther tensing and warm fluid joining with the mess he had already created between them.

They lay still entwined and slightly sticky as their cum cooled between them, exchanging soft languid kisses and making the most of this brief respite before the real world came calling, which sadly would be too soon.

 

_Uther-_

He was stood, with Merlin before him, trying not to move too much as the younger man went about securing his armour. Cenred's army would be outside the walls by nightfall, though he didn't believe Cenred himself would dare show himself during the battle, no doubt the other would wait within the tree line until he could be sure of success, it was the kind of cowardly thing a man like Cenred would do.

Still there was much to do before then, such as alerting the council, he really did need to discuss his plan not that he needed permission but still it was best that everyone was aware of his intentions. Though he didn't really think the council would need much convincing, since most of them remembered a time when magic was welcomed in Camelot, but really that was neither here nor there at the moment.

He had already talked it through with Merlin, and though his young lover had some reservations, he had still agreed that it was worth a try.

To be honest he had some reservations himself but it was something he _had_ to try, if it worked it would spare many innocent lives. He was a little uneasy that Merlin wouldn't be accompanying him but knew the warlock had his own plans to see to.

Still it would have been nice to have some support, especially since he expected to receive very little from his councillors.

"It will be alright!" Merlin broke into his thoughts, the young man's voice filled with determination and a promise.

"I know, Merlin, but if they disagree, what then?" If he were made of weaker stuff he may have been shaking by now but he refused to show fear especially against his own people, it just wasn't done, though he felt guilty for having put all his people in such a situation in the first place,  _if he had told Morgana of her parentage... if he had not sought to slaughter all those with even an ounce of magic... if he had let his kingdom and his DAUGHTER know they were safe..._ oh so many regrets that were mostly pointless now, but still he had to try...

 

_Merlin-_

He had left Uther to attend to the council and made his way through the lower town to the outer walls of the city, he was unsure how long he would need to be out here so he had found a part of the wall that was pretty hidden away from eyes since their had not been an announcement concerning magic and he really didn't wish for any guards to catch him and drag him off to the dungeons.

He placed both his hands flat to the wall, fingers splayed, and let his magic rise to the surface. He didn't know any spell for what he wanted to do but as his magic had always been instinctual before learning control he thought he should be able to achieve the desired effect. Thinking only ' _protect_ ' and ' _strengthen_ ' he pushed his magic out into the stones, eyes closed in concentration, feeling the magic travelling through the thick walls as vibrations running through his whole being.

Stepping back and letting his hands drop when he felt the power fade, he looked at the wall contemplatively before casting a quick, wary, glance around the alleyway he was currently tucked away in, after ensuring there was no-one around he took several steps back and conjured a fire ball in his palm, watching with glowing eyes as it grew in size. When he felt it was large enough he threw it at the wall, watching the stones carefully, a smile formed on his face as he watched the fireball dissipate harmlessly off the wall, not leaving so much as a blackened mark on the stones.

With a grin still plastered across his face he made his way back through the town making to the direct opposite furthest point of the wall to ensure that the defences ran right around the city.

 

_Uther-_

He stood straight backed, head high, as he watched his councilors file in, the last through the door being Gaius and Arthur, and perhaps he should have discussed this with them privately first but well they didn't really have much time to try and get things sorted and anyway it was too late now.

He waited until everyone else was seated before looking around the table, at men who had stood by his decisions in the past, who he had manipulated and blackmailed into following his unwavering hatred of magic, the very thing he was now going to have to defend despite that there was a high chance they were about to yet again be attacked by those using magic, no easy task.

He took in a deep breath before starting what he had only just been rehearsing in his head.

"It was recently brought to my attention that my beliefs regarding sorcery were perhaps... misguided." He paused, not for dramatic emphasis, merely to gauge the reactions of the room, a pleased smile gracing his face when he caught sight of the smiles on Arthur and Gaius' faces. The other councilors were all looking at him either blankly or a little fearfully as though this was a trick to catch them out, he supposed he deserved their mistrust not that it made him feel better. "I'm sure most of you will have by now heard of the impending attack we may face, and though it is true that there will be magic users aiding this attack it is also true that we have someone who would fight willingly to protect us... with magic, and he has done so numerous times in the past."

He paused again while murmuring broke out, clearly there were still those who were uncertain if he was being sincere, however the look that passed between Geoffrey and Gaius was interesting, he doubted even Merlin knew that the shrewd librarian had figured him out. His eyes snapped to Lord Aeduuin who had just cleared his throat quietly but obviously with purpose. He held up a hand and the murmuring subsided, leaving the lord able to speak.

"Um, I was just curious if we might know who this mystery magic user is?" Aeduuin questioned tentatively, and as his eyes roved over the assembled lords he wondered just how many of them had already come to their own (correct) conclusions.

He couldn't help but look towards Gaius himself, after all this was not his secret and king or no he was unsure he had the right to divulge it without Merlin's permission, at Gaius' consenting nod he let out a silent relieved breath.

"The _Warlock_ in question is Merlin, it is only thanks to him that I am able to even host this meeting today, without his aide I would still be captive in Cenred's kingdom."

"So the rumour's are true, it is Cenred who leads this assault?" questioned another lord, Bronson he thought the mans name was, a rather inconsequential minor noble who only held his seat at the council meetings as he was the only noble in the settlement he came from.

"I-" Before he could even begin he was interrupted, much to his annoyance.

"What of the rumour's concerning the lady Morgana?"

He closed his eyes briefly as the sting of hurt washed over him, he had done wrong by her and now his kingdom would be facing the consequences. "I am saddened to say those rumour's too are true, however I am hoping that if we send out a messenger concerning the repeal of the ban we may be able to treat with her. It is my own fault that she has turned on us."

There was a further outbreak of noise at this but he paid it little heed concentrating only on Arthur's almost proud smile and taking strength from it. He nodded to his son in thanks and received a nod in return and knew that he must be doing the right thing and whatever happened from here on out was beyond his control, at least should he die he would have at least tried to make amends.

"I would like to volunteer to deliver this message." Arthur announced and he turned incredulous eyes on him.

"Arthur, if you think I am willing to-"

"How else will she know we are sincere in this? If you just send out a messenger she may well believe it is a trick."

"Merlin and I will be the one's riding out with this message, she certainly won't be expecting us and if she see's we are both alive and standing together then she will be least likely to question my sincerity in this matter." Seeing the stubborn defiant look on his son's face he added, slightly sharper, "That's final Arthur!" 

 

_Merlin-_

He met Uther at the main gates of the castle as planned and couldn't help looking him over, trying to ascertain how the council meeting had gone, but Uther's kingly facade hid anything he was feeling from the outside world and so resigned himself to finding out once they were outside the city walls. He thought it must be a good sign that Uther were here though, still intending to offer the bough of peace, whether it was accepted or not was another matter, Morgana had no reason to make either of their lives easy, and with this rather unsettling thought he laced his fingers with those of his king letting the warmth and strength wash over him like a blanket.

Entering the clearing, which he often used to call kilgharrah, he saw it now filled with the tents of Morgana's army, certainly they were Cenred's knights but Cenred was a fool if he thought he had any say in this attack, it was all too clear who was really in charge here. 

With a brief reassuring squeeze to one another's hands they stepped into sight, heads held high.

Many turned to stare at them as they made their way through the coloured tents towards the largest, set up in the middle with banners flying high, these were not the banners of Cenred's kingdom though which merely confirmed his previous suspicions. He was unsure if it was a positive thing that no-one attempted to stop them until they met the guards outside Morgana's tent.

"Tell your mistress we wish to offer a treaty." Uther announced to the guard confidently. If the man was surprised to see them there, as opposed to the cells of Cenred's dungeons, he didn't show it, though Merlin wasn't sure how many actually knew of Uther's capture though he had thought it would have been turned into a grand announcement. Still the guard stepped away from them, ducking into the tent behind him to relay the message.

He was back within moments, and still without saying anything, merely gestured towards the tent which they took for permission, sharing a slightly amused glance at the mans behaviour, before their expressions sobered as they stepped forward as one.

Morgana was seated at a small table seemingly alone though Merlin had his own suspicions, what with the privacy screen blocking off half of the tent, he assumed Morgause was still not quite recovered, he bit down on the smug smile before it could show on his face and tore his gaze from the screen to meet Morgana's stormy green eyes.

"So your both still alive, I suppose if you want something done right..." Morgana taunted.

Uther tensed beside him, straightening slightly as he looked on at his daughter, and Merlin felt a stab of pity for the man, for all the bluster and strength it was easy to read the pain in his eyes, and Merlin clutched his hand a little tighter despite the sweat that was now making both their hands slick, he refused to let go and held on all the tighter.

"Morgana, please." Uther's voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat, "You don't need to do this, magic will once again be accepted in Camelot, you can come home, I am sorry for the hurt I have caused, I should have been honest. Instead I was a coward, and for that I apologise. Please-"

"Oh so now it's acceptable? You are a nothing but a hypocrite, changing laws to match your whims! All the years you denied me the simple truth of my lineage! I have a **right** to the throne!" Morgana spat as she rose to her feet, and Merlin could feel the crackle of magic in the air, subconsciously raising his free hand slightly.

"The right is Arthur's! He is the Once and Future king!" Merlin spat back, unable to hold his tongue.

Morgana opened her mouth, whether to cast a spell or offer a retort he did not find out as Uther interrupted, "Merlin is right, even if I had been honest the throne would have passed to Arthur, he is the elder and a son of both king and queen."

"Pfft, because he's male!" Morgana screeched clearly incensed.

"This is not the point of this meeting. Before you met Morgause all you wanted was a chance to prove that magic could be used for good, you had no desire to take the throne for yourself! Now is that chance, Morgana, you can use your magic freely for the benefit of all, without any bloodshed. That is what we are offering you... a chance to live in peace free from fear." Merlin thought he saw a small chink in her mask, a look of longing, but just as quickly it was gone wondering if it had ever been there at all.

"Why would I trust either of you, out of everyone you have betrayed me the most, and I will not show any weakness to you!"

He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding as a sad sigh, wishing for the thousandth time that things could have been different, and it seemed now it was too late. Looking to Uther and catching sight of the resigned, heartbroken, cast of his eyes it was obvious he was thinking similar thoughts. In fact Uther seemed incapable of speech right now, no doubt blaming himself for condemning his people to this war.

"Then there is nothing further to say, but know this Morgana, all the blood spilled in the coming days is on your hands alone! You could have prevented this." And with that said Merlin gripped Uther's hand tighter pulling him into the crushing vortex of the transportation spell. He could hear Morgana's enraged scream echoing in his mind, and had to suppress a shudder as he felt the ripple of magic she had unintentionally released.

He still couldn't help but pity her, now that Morgause was out of action, the only magic they had at their disposal was Morgana's and it was obvious to him that she still could not fully control it, tears glistened in his eyes thinking of what was to come.

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for Steve, many thanks for your comment (read- essay lol)  
> This is it!!! Final chapter in this series, hopefully it is not disappointing and many thanks to all who read, kudos'd and commented... I would not have done this without the support (really without you all it would have probably stopped at the first in the series!)  
> Hope you enjoy (sorry there is no smut in this chapter :( don't let that put you off though)

 

_Lives lost..._

 

_Merlin-_

The attack started as soon as the sun sank below the horizon, a thousand torches glinting in the dusk as the army marched on the city. Uther stood on the battlements overlooking the main gates, from what could be seen it did not seem as though the enemy were planning anything other than a frontal assault, Merlin assumed that Morgana was either arrogant (a trait of the Pendragon's it seemed) enough to assume she was more powerful than he or she was too incensed to bother with a thought out battle plan, though he was unsure as to why Cenred was willing to let her lead his men to their deaths. Camelot had never once been successfully taken, he would make sure this time was no different.

He wished that they had been successful in trying to gain peace with Morgana, but her heart was so tainted by rage and hatred that they were now left with no other option, they had extended the hand of peace only to have it rejected, what more could they do other than protect the innocents and their home.

Far off he could just about make out, through the glow of many torches, the outlines of a couple of trebuchets, which caused his heart to stutter slightly, especially when when large bright glowing fires lit within them, and only seconds later the first flaming volleys were launched.

Merlin threw his hand up, not sure whether he was ready to test the fortitude of his shields so early on, and both large flaming boulders splintered into hundreds of dangerous flaming shards, raining down upon those who had initially cast them.

Though he could hear the faint screams from those who had been in the path of the flaming debris, the oncoming army did not stop, small groups pushing siege towers which had already become targets of Camelot's archers loosing flaming arrows in the hopes of bringing them down. Another group marching along bearing the weight of a battering ram, and hundreds of others, with glinting torches, swords, crossbows and ladders. There was plenty for them to be wary of already and still Morgana had yet to show herself. A fact that caused unease to pool in his guts, knowing Morgana like he did he knew she would not be satisfied to sit this battle out.

For now, with the enemy still a while away there wasn't much to be done, their archers were firing flaming arrows but apart from that any other actions would be pointless until the enemy were closer, he knew Arthur was down at ground level and he felt a small stab of guilt at the thought that he was not there at his side, he knew his destiny, but he also knew his heart and as long as Uther stood up here then he would too.

It seemed all too soon that the forefront of the enemies army reached the walls, and chaos ensued, it all seemed to happen so quickly, one moment there were men marching toward them and the next there were ladders being pushed up against the walls. Merlin watched in faint horror as the men closest to him started pouring the large vat of oil over the side, following this quickly with a torch, the screams of men ringing in his ears as the oil caught alight, the ladder falling with those on it. He could see similar scenes all along the battlements, men firing there bows, here and there where enemies had breached the walls sword fights were breaking out,  the clash of steel and screams filling the night sky.

He wanted to smack himself for his idiocy in casting the shield along the walls when it should have been obvious that the majority of the attack would be coming over the walls, he was pleased however that the battering ram was still causing no damage to the gates, despite this he knew that any who died defending the walls he would always blame himself for, for being too stupid to think.

Uther was no longer at his side, when he came out of his thoughts, but a little further down the walls now yelling out orders even as his sword cut threw a soldier whose head had just appeared above the wall, and Merlin had only taken one step towards him when he felt a powerful blow slamming into his shields causing his knees to buckle slightly.

His eyes glowed gold as he surveyed the enemy and a heavy weight dropped into his stomach when he spotted not only Morgana but Morgause too, it seemed she had recovered enough for this. The sisters were holding hands both their eyes glowing in the dark night as another blast slammed into the walls, this time causing his legs to fail as he dropped to his knees under their combined onslaught.

As soon as it passed he pushed himself up, eyes blazing, and tore up the ground from under them. He knew it would not stop them for long but it bought him a little time to take stock. uther was still nearby, fighting with his knights surrounding him, and for now Merlin had to trust the king's safety to them, he used his magical sight to check on those on the lower levels, noting that Arthur was no longer down there, no doubt the prince had joined the battle on the walls whilst the gate continued to hold against its attack. All around him was violence and death, the dark night lit up by fires spreading around the walls, tiny pinpricks of light shooting through the night as arrows rained down.

A shudder at the walls had his attention snapping back to the sisters this time much weaker than before and he wondered just how recovered Morgause actually was, a moment later and a wall of flames was spreading out from where the two withes stood, and what had started as a mere column of fire was soon as wide as the gates it was headed for, his eyes glowed, he didn't use a spell, hadn't the first time Morgause had tried this spell, he merely bid his magic to reflect it, causing the flames to explode outwards, once again the sisters were flung off their feet, and though he felt a slight twinge of guilt he couldn't stop the bitter thought that they deserved it, they had killed a number of their own men in casting it, the battering ram now lying abandoned by those who had once wielded it, few of the knights still screaming as their chainmail and armour melded to their skin with the heat.

A hand clamping down on his shoulder had him leaping a foot in the air almost, his breath stuttering as he turned his head so fast his neck clicked. Uther's grey eyes bore into him as the older man looked him over and Merlin did the same, his eyes taking in every detail, included the shallow wound that none the less was dripping blood down the king's face. He reached a hand out gently to it, infusing it with a little magic so that the bleeding stopped and the wound partially healed over, it was good enough for now.

"Are you alright?" Uther questioned, his voice low and serious and Merlin could only nod in reply while his heart beat and breathing slowed to a more steady rhythm. "And Arthur?"

Merlin shrugged, then realised that was probably not very helpful however he was still trying to come to terms with all that was going on around him, too much and he could not be everywhere, could not help everyone, and people would die and it would be his fault for not being good enough.

"I don't know, when last I checked he was no longer guarding the gates. I could try and find him though..." Uther nodded and Merlin shut his eyes slightly as visions of people fighting flashed through his mind, stopping when he located the prince, on the western battlements above one of the side gates, sword glinting as he fought. "Above the western gate. He seems alright."

Uther nodded again, letting out a small sigh, "I don't understand why Cenred has not called for a retreat, though he holds little regard for the people of his kingdom, I would think even he would be loath to loose such a considerable chunk of his army, his men are falling at every turn, the gates are holding he must know that the longer this continues the more he will lose?"

"I don't know, but I don't think Cenred is in charge of this attack. Morgause has joined the battle with Morgana."

"She is recovered?"

"I don't-"

An explosion of light and noise cut off anything he had to say, there was ringing in his ears and pain shooting through his body as the world around him shifted. He didn't know what had happened or even which way was up and as darkness encroached on his vision he flung his magic out to Uther with the only thought of 'protect', before darkness swallowed him whole.

 

_Uther-_

The sudden explosion shook the walls, sparks and debris shooting up as the ground gave way beneath his feet, before he could even comprehend what had happened he felt himself being shoved forcefully aside before his body had a chance to fall with the stones he was stood upon. Instead he found himself sprawled unceremoniously on his back further along the wall looking at a gaping void where once there had been wall and... Merlin!

He looked around wildly but did not see him anywhere and he gazed with the horror of dawning realisation into the dark void, where a cloud of dust was obscuring everything, even muffling the sounds of those caught beneath the heavy stones, unless that was the lingering ringing in his ears.

He jumped to his feet and raced towards the nearest set of steps, cursing all the way as tears obscured his vision. He was dimly aware of shouts, the hissing of arrows, the sizzling, pop, crack, of fires, the metallic ringing of steel on steel, but it was all so far away, so pointless.

He dropped to his knees at the edge of the pile of rubble, his fingers scrabbling to loosen rocks. He felt a sharp sting as a nail was torn partially away, he paid it no heed instead continuing in his attempt to shift the rocks, choking on the dust that was yet to settle.

"Well, well, well isn't this just precious... the great Uther Pendragon on his knees for the benefit of a mere servant, though it's hardly the first time!" Morgana's voice rang bitterly in his ears.

He looked up, tears still staining his dirt encrusted face, and for once he felt nothing but a dark hatred for his bastard daughter, she had done this! She had brought all this death and destruction to Camelot! 

"How could you? How could you do this to innocent people? You.. you are a monster!" He yelled as he rose to his feet.

Morgana was already yelling, words of the old religion reaching his ears too late. He watched as if in slow motion, as though time itself were suspended and yet still too fast for him to react, not that he could do much against magic, the fireball appearing and rushing towards him, and his only thoughts were that at least he may get to be with Merlin again, Arthur was more than ready to lead, to rule this kingdom... Only the fireball dissipated harmlessly in the air before him, not even singing his clothes and he blinked in confusion, looking around, that was Merlin... but where wa-

Morgana screeched, sounding inhuman, launching pure magic and rage at him, again it dissipated before reaching him, and he watched as his daughter grew more and more frustrated as each attempt on his life failed.

He saw Arthur sneaking up behind his sister, sword held loosely in his hand as he brought it hilt down on Morgana's head, and all he felt as he watched his daughter sink, unconscious, to the ground was relief.

"Father..."

Uther threw his arms round his son, happy to see him alive and whole, stealing a moment just for the two of them, and when he pulled away his son was wearing a happy little smile which he couldn't help but return, even surrounded by so many dead, until he remembered.

"Merlin... Arthur-" He didn't, couldn't, say anymore instead dropping back to the ground and once again started to shift the rocks, a few other knights had made their way over, politely ignoring the king as they set straight to work on trying to find survivors amongst the rubble. Arthur dropped down next to him without a word and set to helping.

 

_Merlin-_

He let out a groan, and even that small action seemed to cause immense pain to shoot through his body. His head felt heavy, pounding relentlessly in tempo with the beat of his heart which seemed slow and sluggish, everything around him was dark, and he could barely draw breath, even twitching his fingers hurt.

Had he been out 'training' with Arthur or something, perhaps they had gone to fend off some magical beast... that seemed more likely, although it was usually Arthur who came off worse in those situations... 

Perhaps he had been poisoned again... it would explain the slow heartbeat and the heavy feeling of his body... although it didn't explain... the pain... everywhere... gods... breathing... was...

 

 

 

Noise, so much noise! Did Gaius have a patient? Was Arthur yelling at him?

 

 

... "lin?" 

 

 

 

"...et... Gaius."

 

 

 

He slowly came back to awareness, sounds slightly muffled around him though he could tell that there were a lot of people close by. His body still felt heavy, aches and pains springing up all over his body to announce their presence and he tried to catalogue what exactly was ailing him. Difficulty breathing, each breath a spike of pain throrough his chest... so broken rib(s) next heavy head pulsing a beat... head wound... concussion? 

He was unsure but there was a strange ache accompanied by tingling pains shooting through his left leg though he had no idea what that might mean, and he tried to piece together what hed happened to him, his mind flicking through his previous memories in hopes of finding some clue...

_An explosion of light and sound... the ground shifting from under him... Uther...?_

He blinked his eyes open, having to repeat the action a few times before they stopped deeling so heavy and the world finally started to spin into view.

"lin... Merlin?" 

He knew that voice, a smile made its way onto his face, despite the spike of pain the dim lighting caused his eyes as he slowly turned his head in the direction of the voice.

"Oh thank god! Gaius! He's awake!" Uther shouted out and Merlin winced as his head rebelled against the noise and his stomach turned uncomfortably before burning bile made its way up his throat, his lips parting, as the vile fluid forced its way out of his system, he could feel it dripping over his lips and down the side of his jaw as he turned his head a little more so as not to choke on it.

Definitely a concussion then.

His eyes were leaking tears by the time the fit had passed, and when he blinked them away, his arms not responding to the message to _move goddamnit_ , Gaius was hovering above him, the familiar beloved face instantly calming him somewhat.

Gaius gently eased him from the bed bringing a goblet to his lips and Merlin drank a little, enjoying the soothing cool liquid as it eased down his burning throat, only to be replaced by one of Gaius' foul tonics, but he didn't have the strength to protest... besides it was too late now... his eyes were already drifting shut even as he subconsciously swallowed the water that was once again brought to his lips.

 

 

_Uther-_

 

Though the battle had not been a long one by any standards it had still caused quite a bit of destruction to the walls, and a few of the homes and businesses in the lower town, Cenred's army had ceased fighting and surrendered shortly after Morgana had fell and he was still unsure if it had been some enchantment that had held them under her sway. It turned out that Cenred had been killed long before the army had even launched their attack and Morgause had died in whatever backfiring spell she and Morgana had aimed at the gates, no doubt it had been this that had brought Morgana within the walls.

However once she regained consciousness, locked in Camelot's dungeons to await trial, she had not spoken a single word, not even to spit vile abuse at those she deemed responsible, and she had barely even blinked when Merlin was once again well enough to strip her of her magic, trapping it inside a crystal which he then destroyed.

She was still alive, still within Camelot, he had been unable to bring himself to sentence her to death despite all the horrors she had brought upon the kingdom, and with no magic and no allies it wasn't as if she actually posed a threat anymore.

Still he wasn't sure if it would have been kinder to sentence her to death for it was clear to anyone who had seen her that she was wasting away, hardly touching her meals, and she had still not spoken a word since that night. She seemed to spend most of her time sitting at her chamber window watching the lives of the people pass by, and although he had been uncomfortable with it at first Merlin was one of the few who visited her daily, the young man's misplaced guilt drawing him to her as if he sought some kind of solace.

Still Camelot had been victorious, their greatest threat now vanquished and only with minimal losses on their side. It could have been much worse.

He had also started opening talks with the druids trying to make peace and build bridges and though getting the magical community to trust in him was proving to be a long and ardous task he knew it would be one that was worth while, and even if it was never quite settled while he was king he knew that Arthur would be able to change that, he had helped pave the way and protected his kingdom as best as he could,though he was eternally grateful to have Merlin by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right that is it, I'm not entirely happy with the last little bit but didn't really want to drag it out into an epilogue so...  
> Cheers :-D


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